Why I Don’t Raid: Part 2

Note: For Part 1, click here. I have written up a part 3 as well, as more of a conclusion for this rant.

In the end, I missed Vashj. I had my boyfriend and a few friends over there I really wanted to play with again so I left Terenas to play Fae, my early WotLK main, also a Hunter. I’d realised that Hunter was now my favourite class, not Shadow Priest. I loved the diversity of the different specs, choices to make, and the playstyle of Survival (at the time, I’m now Marksman). I did a few heroics to get myself up to Trial level because I was still in Naxx gear (with the gun from hardmode XT 10 man though, I got lucky with that, and didn’t replace it for months) and applied to Dan’s guild – I had nowhere else to go really and this was where most of my Vashj friends were, Dice.

I got in, raided for a bit, except this guild was a little more hardcore than Respice so I found the change quite difficult. There were some awesome people in the guild, don’t get me wrong, but I wasn’t clicking and there were things I wasn’t happy with that I knew couldn’t change. I asked to be demoted to a social. Casual raiding had spoiled me and I got way too stressed out with the longer, more frequent raiding schedule.

I took a couple of breaks here, tried out Lord of the Rings Online, which had an amazing community and I enjoyed thoroughly. I also tried out Aion, which had a terrible community, though it hadn’t long been released, and some insane lag I couldn’t play through, but it was a beautiful game and the character creation screen and playstyle of the Spiritmaster class won me over nonetheless. I came back to WoW to do the seasonal achievements, having missed out on quite a lot over the year, though I’d kept up with my priest’s achievements (yes, she has the Drake now). One evening I logged in and the GM of Dice started talking to me.. telling me that he was an old guildy of mine from TBC but he’d gender and name changed his character, I clicked, it was. He flirted with me a bit which freaked me out, I don’t deal well with people flirting with me, but he’d always done that. By the end of the week, he begged me to come back, they needed good hunters. I’d like to clarify here, that though flirting creeps me out, and that week did seem a bit odd to me as he didn’t speak to me after I’d rejoined, he was a good guy and he was a popular person in the guild for good reason.

I tried again, but it was worse this time, I was forcing myself and felt really out of place. I quit “for good” after a couple of days, and ended up leaving the guild after an influx of, “Oh man, she’s a girl get her in!” (Not aimed at me, thank God.)

You can’t stay away for long though.. the officers and GM all quit for various reasons, didn’t like the game anymore, had a baby, heavy workload.. so they promoted a friend of ours to GM, who chose his officers: our other friends. I guess he knew he could trust them but in all honesty I never liked the choice. Dan and him both asked if I’d come back, they really needed good hunters and, I hope, liked me being around. I said okay, I’ll come back on a 2 week trial period, but that’s also for me, whether I’m ready to raid or not. After the 2 weeks I didn’t feel stressed enough to quit, I was fine, once I got in a raid I enjoyed it, and reading up on hunters a lot more was fun, I enjoyed improving.

The raiding was good for a couple of months, but after a while the new GM started treating his friends (well I’m not sure about the ones he promoted to officers because by this point none of them cared much to speak to me and no, I hadn’t done anything wrong, I think it was just a case of drifting apart) like avatars. I can specifically remember one raid, I was having a really terrible day, feeling like absolute crap, and I logged in and was instantly invited to a hardmode Trial raid, which I really couldn’t do with, but apparently there was nobody else. Stupidly I went along, told the GM I wasn’t really upto it, and he said, “Don’t worry” and carried on. Replaced 2 other people. Not me. Or Dan, who I think had a killer headache that night. I asked a bit later, if they could “please replace me because I really couldn’t focus anymore,” my day was getting to me in a bad way, I was freaking out and needed to lie down.. I’d told the GM at the start I was bad and I was met with silence, and one of the members saying, “There’s nobody to replace you.” After replacing 2 other guys who had to go because.. what.. they were tired, I can’t remember. That was when I realised he wasn’t a friend anymore. That wasn’t the only case of it, but it was the one that stuck in my mind, and after a while I just left the raid.

It was just after Christmas, I was in the friends 10 man raid to Icecrown 10, with Dan. We had a set group that went every week. This one particular night, I was on my Warlock, as I had been taking a break from 25 man raiding after Christmas and wanted to chill a bit, and Dan told me to relog because they were doing the ICC group. I relogged to my hunter, 2 minutes later I walked over to Dan’s screen and the group was full. I wasn’t in it. “What the fuck, did they just replace me? I’m right here..” Yep. He knew my Warlock’s name. He was still in the same guild as my Hunter. He couldn’t be arsed to look at his friends list, send me a whisper, or even ask anybody else but Dan, who was ignored, he just replaced me. I went absolutely APE SHIT, that was not on. If anybody else in the group wasn’t on their main, they’d have been contacted, I know because it’s happened before. I was sat right next to the other tank in the group! Just because neither of us were on fucking vent, I was replaced. After all of the being treated like just another raider, I exploded. A lot. And yes, this is also why I’m not a fan of voice programmes, if you don’t feel comfortable going on them or can’t go on them, you will inevitably be left out eventually.

He did try to apologise when I was still very much raging, but at this point I was too pissed off.. He didn’t even know what had pissed me off! I left the guild later on. The next day I left my goodbye message on the forum, which he deleted, and shortly after deleted my forum account. To this day he hasn’t explained why he did that, or apologised for it, but that really took the biscuit, it really fucking hurt to be treated like JUST ANOTHER RAIDER, by somebody I though was a friend. Yes, I get there are certain ways he’d have to treat me, but I’ve never asked for special treatment, just an acceptance that this is a game.

Since then I’ve done a couple of 10 man raids, I’ve seen upto Sindragosa in 10 man ICC, but after Dan took a long break I needed to as well and lost my spot, which I’m fine with, I can’t bring myself to raid at the moment. I’ve seen how much drama, and immaturity it causes, first hand and second hand, and I can’t deal with it. This is a game and the way people treat raiding means that I can’t enjoy raids at the moment. I’d like to kill the Lich King, I’d like to see the new dragon boss, and I’d like to raid again in Cataclysm, but I need to find a guild I can feel comfortable with and happy in for that to happen. That won’t be on Vashj, and switching servers will also be difficult unless you know where you’re heading, which I don’t. So I don’t raid for now, and haven’t done since Christmas.

13 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Raid: Part 2”

  1. Sometimes, a break is what you need.

    Finding the right fit in a guild (especially for raiding) it important and difficult. It was so difficult in fact for me that over two years ago, I made my own casual guild.

    Most of us ended up leveling together through TBC and making our ways to 80 in WOTLK together. We are tight knit and close and have been together for a while.

    Reaching end-game in WOTLK I ended up running with another guild with some friends through Naxx and Ulduar as my guild wasn’t raiding. When that fell through I decided my 80s need to have the option for casual raiding if they want it…and so we started.

    Raiding hasn’t created any drama, we share loot (half the time everyone wants to pass so someone else can have it), we try not to pug so when we’re short we cancel, and we are not afraid to say that right now…we need a break…life is in the way.

    I see guilds advertise in trade raiding every weekday and I couldn’t do it. I enjoy my life with Paul (my bf) and I have job. But sure, my casual raiding experience is enjoyable to and I have developed the proper connections (friends in casual & hardcore raiding guilds) to find the balance that is good for me when I am in the mood.

    I really hope you can too :)
    .-= Tarinae´s last blog ..Armory Blog Links FTW =-.

  2. Sometimes I guess you don’t really know the people you meet in WoW. I think tbh the person you had the problems with made a mistake and then just didn’t know how to unmake it and took the cowardly way out.I’ve caused drama with my invites for Pug runs. It almost always is solved with me explaining why I didn’t invite the person and reassuring them its not personal.

    I understand the rage completely though. I raged leaving the first guild I’d made. They were close friends (as close as wow friends can be!) but for some reason one of them decided to kick me from our weekly 5v5 team for someone I hate who they also kept reinviting to our raids. I couldn’t understand why they were being such an asshole and it gave me the excuse to stop playing the game for other people (Chivying them to get enchanted, explaining boss fights, their class mechanics etc) and play the game for myself.

    That rage actually led me to some more great people who eventually led me to where I am now. Hopefully this will prove to be a good opportunity.
    .-= echo´s last blog ..Zen and the art of Drunken Tanking =-.

  3. I don’t Raid either these days, for a multitude of reasons.

    Being without a computer from April through August of last year kicked me pretty much out of the loop. I missed Ulduar entirely when it was current, and ToC had already been out for a little while by the time I got back.

    My old Guild exploded while I was gone, and only recently have I gotten a reasonably clear idea on WHY.

    So these days, the fact that I was out of the Raiding loop for that long means that I probably wouldn’t be able to find a decent group of players who would want or need me. Compound that with the fact that nowadays there’s no certainty that I could reliably and consistently make Raid times, and you can see why I don’t Raid. I’ve done Ony-10 once (and EoE once. Kind of.) since I returned to the game; that’s the extent of my recent Raiding experience.

    My old Guild wasn’t a top progression one, at least. We’d Raid two, sometimes three nights a week, which added up to maybe six or seven hours total. And towards the end (before my old computer went kerblooey), it started getting rather stressful. So when I really stop and think about it, I honestly can’t say I’m worse off for not Raiding.

    I get a little pang of jealousy every now and then, though, and wonder what could have been, when I see someone that I know (or knew) moving along in progression. It’s especially bad when it’s an old Guildie that won’t even deign to respond to an ingame letter saying “Hello”…

    1. Oh I hate being ignored by old friends :< that’s always a shame. Personally, I think as long as you enjoy what you’re doing then all is good, it’s especially important to me that you have friends on your server, who you can play with or talk to, else the game can get boring very fast.

      1. Oh; I’ve found many nice people since I’ve returned to the game; both in my current Guild and people that I’ve just happened across. I’ve even grown friendly enough with some to exchange real names and such with. And as anyone who knows me could tell you; that’s a big deal for me.

        It’s nice that I usually have someone to chat with when I play, even if I’m doing quests by myself or other solo activities. Up until level 63 I never did anything with anyone else ingame. Now I don’t know what I’d do without interaction when I play.

  4. I do know exactly what you are talking about. I’m still in Dice, and even tho the environment is friendly I’m always a bit cautious around people. I try not to get too friendly with them, because I dont’want to get my feelings hurt.

    Although I can’t bring myself to say to leave Dice. I still love it there, i have my laughs and my cries (when the goddamn trinket still won’t drop) but I don’t feel pressured to do stuff. Maybe because even more things have changed since you went, maybe it’s just settling down a bit again. Evenso, what happened to you in the raids, and yes I fully got what it was about, shouldn’t have.

    Hopefully you’ll enjoy raiding again in the future, and you know you can always gimme a shout if you wanna do a 10 man :P seeing as me and my BF organise some.

    1. Oh definitely. Dice has had it’s ups and downs, but initially me and it don’t click. I can see the guild seems to be back on its feet these days, which is nice because there are people in the guild who I quite like. I don’t regret my time there either, whilst perhaps it wasn’t the guild for me, I have had some good times and met some awesome people.

  5. I sure hope there’s some happy times to come in part three, as reading this put a frown on *my* face — and it didn’t happen to me.

    1. I might save Part 3 for later and so something different tomorrow ^^

      Have been playing around with character histories and stuff soo.. :D

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