Note: For Part 1, click here. I have written up a part 3 as well, as more of a conclusion for this rant.
In the end, I missed Vashj. I had my boyfriend and a few friends over there I really wanted to play with again so I left Terenas to play Fae, my early WotLK main, also a Hunter. I’d realised that Hunter was now my favourite class, not Shadow Priest. I loved the diversity of the different specs, choices to make, and the playstyle of Survival (at the time, I’m now Marksman). I did a few heroics to get myself up to Trial level because I was still in Naxx gear (with the gun from hardmode XT 10 man though, I got lucky with that, and didn’t replace it for months) and applied to Dan’s guild – I had nowhere else to go really and this was where most of my Vashj friends were, Dice.
I got in, raided for a bit, except this guild was a little more hardcore than Respice so I found the change quite difficult. There were some awesome people in the guild, don’t get me wrong, but I wasn’t clicking and there were things I wasn’t happy with that I knew couldn’t change. I asked to be demoted to a social. Casual raiding had spoiled me and I got way too stressed out with the longer, more frequent raiding schedule.
I took a couple of breaks here, tried out Lord of the Rings Online, which had an amazing community and I enjoyed thoroughly. I also tried out Aion, which had a terrible community, though it hadn’t long been released, and some insane lag I couldn’t play through, but it was a beautiful game and the character creation screen and playstyle of the Spiritmaster class won me over nonetheless. I came back to WoW to do the seasonal achievements, having missed out on quite a lot over the year, though I’d kept up with my priest’s achievements (yes, she has the Drake now). One evening I logged in and the GM of Dice started talking to me.. telling me that he was an old guildy of mine from TBC but he’d gender and name changed his character, I clicked, it was. He flirted with me a bit which freaked me out, I don’t deal well with people flirting with me, but he’d always done that. By the end of the week, he begged me to come back, they needed good hunters. I’d like to clarify here, that though flirting creeps me out, and that week did seem a bit odd to me as he didn’t speak to me after I’d rejoined, he was a good guy and he was a popular person in the guild for good reason.
I tried again, but it was worse this time, I was forcing myself and felt really out of place. I quit “for good” after a couple of days, and ended up leaving the guild after an influx of, “Oh man, she’s a girl get her in!” (Not aimed at me, thank God.)
You can’t stay away for long though.. the officers and GM all quit for various reasons, didn’t like the game anymore, had a baby, heavy workload.. so they promoted a friend of ours to GM, who chose his officers: our other friends. I guess he knew he could trust them but in all honesty I never liked the choice. Dan and him both asked if I’d come back, they really needed good hunters and, I hope, liked me being around. I said okay, I’ll come back on a 2 week trial period, but that’s also for me, whether I’m ready to raid or not. After the 2 weeks I didn’t feel stressed enough to quit, I was fine, once I got in a raid I enjoyed it, and reading up on hunters a lot more was fun, I enjoyed improving.
The raiding was good for a couple of months, but after a while the new GM started treating his friends (well I’m not sure about the ones he promoted to officers because by this point none of them cared much to speak to me and no, I hadn’t done anything wrong, I think it was just a case of drifting apart) like avatars. I can specifically remember one raid, I was having a really terrible day, feeling like absolute crap, and I logged in and was instantly invited to a hardmode Trial raid, which I really couldn’t do with, but apparently there was nobody else. Stupidly I went along, told the GM I wasn’t really upto it, and he said, “Don’t worry” and carried on. Replaced 2 other people. Not me. Or Dan, who I think had a killer headache that night. I asked a bit later, if they could “please replace me because I really couldn’t focus anymore,” my day was getting to me in a bad way, I was freaking out and needed to lie down.. I’d told the GM at the start I was bad and I was met with silence, and one of the members saying, “There’s nobody to replace you.” After replacing 2 other guys who had to go because.. what.. they were tired, I can’t remember. That was when I realised he wasn’t a friend anymore. That wasn’t the only case of it, but it was the one that stuck in my mind, and after a while I just left the raid.
It was just after Christmas, I was in the friends 10 man raid to Icecrown 10, with Dan. We had a set group that went every week. This one particular night, I was on my Warlock, as I had been taking a break from 25 man raiding after Christmas and wanted to chill a bit, and Dan told me to relog because they were doing the ICC group. I relogged to my hunter, 2 minutes later I walked over to Dan’s screen and the group was full. I wasn’t in it. “What the fuck, did they just replace me? I’m right here..” Yep. He knew my Warlock’s name. He was still in the same guild as my Hunter. He couldn’t be arsed to look at his friends list, send me a whisper, or even ask anybody else but Dan, who was ignored, he just replaced me. I went absolutely APE SHIT, that was not on. If anybody else in the group wasn’t on their main, they’d have been contacted, I know because it’s happened before. I was sat right next to the other tank in the group! Just because neither of us were on fucking vent, I was replaced. After all of the being treated like just another raider, I exploded. A lot. And yes, this is also why I’m not a fan of voice programmes, if you don’t feel comfortable going on them or can’t go on them, you will inevitably be left out eventually.
He did try to apologise when I was still very much raging, but at this point I was too pissed off.. He didn’t even know what had pissed me off! I left the guild later on. The next day I left my goodbye message on the forum, which he deleted, and shortly after deleted my forum account. To this day he hasn’t explained why he did that, or apologised for it, but that really took the biscuit, it really fucking hurt to be treated like JUST ANOTHER RAIDER, by somebody I though was a friend. Yes, I get there are certain ways he’d have to treat me, but I’ve never asked for special treatment, just an acceptance that this is a game.
Since then I’ve done a couple of 10 man raids, I’ve seen upto Sindragosa in 10 man ICC, but after Dan took a long break I needed to as well and lost my spot, which I’m fine with, I can’t bring myself to raid at the moment. I’ve seen how much drama, and immaturity it causes, first hand and second hand, and I can’t deal with it. This is a game and the way people treat raiding means that I can’t enjoy raids at the moment. I’d like to kill the Lich King, I’d like to see the new dragon boss, and I’d like to raid again in Cataclysm, but I need to find a guild I can feel comfortable with and happy in for that to happen. That won’t be on Vashj, and switching servers will also be difficult unless you know where you’re heading, which I don’t. So I don’t raid for now, and haven’t done since Christmas.